What Will Happen?
I am sitting here avoiding the work of this day. I have one final day to deal with some mad piles of stuff in several rooms and have left it to the last possible minute to move a bunch of stuff to my new place. Of course, I have opted to crank up my gym time at the same time, so I can barely move and the thought of carrying boxes? Too much. I am getting really tired with the house clearing. I’m glad its almost over.
In the meantime, time ticks by and I am getting farther away from Morocco on the one hand having been home now for a month and a half, and closer to it on the other hand as I look forward to my next adventure. I have the odd moment when I can sit down and think about whats coming. I get REALLY excited about that.
People often ask me, “What will you do there?” “Do you have a job?”. Yah. No. No idea. And I’m totally cool with that. You see, the most I can do at this point is get there. Part of this amazing, wonderful, terrifying ride that I am on is embracing my intuition. I have been living in a place of connecting with what feels right, and leaving the rest to fate. Its been working out. Feeling my way along the dark hallway by keeping one hand on the wall. It feels right? Nothing in the way? Still happy? Ok, take another step and see where it goes. What a luxury! Oh my goodness. This must sound scary to many of you, and it is. But remember I don’t have any dependants. I can move around pretty easily. I don’t have a lot of baggage. I can up and move in no time. If it doesn’t work in Marrakech, I am confident that while I am there, the next step will be revealed. I am old enough to know that I just need to be patient and everything will reveal itself in time. Patience. No point in worrying about what will happen in Marrakech until I get there. It will all unfold in time.
I know what I have (from stuff in my suitcase to resources and skills). I know what I need (from personal safety to mental health and income ). I will put those things out there and just wait to see what comes back. I have no way of knowing who will come into my life and in what form. That’s the wild card. Who will be joining me on this journey and who will help me and who will hurt me. All a big giant unknown. All I can do is hope that the right people come along, or stay long, with the best of intentions and that the universe will continue to conspire in my favour.
You know what I do know? What I am REALLY the most excited about? The thing that I look forward to with the most excitement and the most anxiety….
The complete lack of western bullshit. Not having to turn on the evening news to listen to Ashley Rowe exclaim about the injustice of snow removal equipment. Not having to read the nonsense bullshit opinions about our Prime Ministers childcare. Not having to see commercials by major retailers feeding us some shit about bringing back the important parts of the holidays by shopping with them. I’m looking forward to completing the shedding of my own gross consumerism by moving to a place that doesn’t have an Apple Store or really even a major mall. Oh I will miss shopping online. Of course I will. I love opening my door and finding packages like Christmas morning. That rocks. But the western media? Kathleen Wynne and the attempt to kill every Ontario resident with debt? Rising taxes, political scandals, sucky college students, bullshit gun laws, Donald Trump? I am excited to only see or hear of these things when I log on to look for them. No more in your face media bullshit.
Also – the beauty. I am SO excited to go back to living amongst beauty. I lived in the mountains for so many years, and then the west coast. So much natural beauty. Then I came back to Ontario. To Toronto specifically and there is no beauty to be found on the Gardiner. Walking the streets of Long Branch brings me no joy. I am so looking forward to the patterns, the ancient culture, the buildings, the architecture, the coastline, the moutains, the medinas and the beautiful people.
One thing that has ALWAYS stayed with me is that you never take beautiful surroundings for granted. Every single day I lived in the Rockies, I spent more time looking up at the mountains than anything else. They demand attention. Beauty will not be taken for granted. Not a single day goes by when I don’t see a post of the scenery from somone who has lived there for 20 years. Because that kind of beauty never stops inspiring your heart. It never doesn’t take your breath away. Ever. I am looking foreward most of all to being back amidst the beauty. The patterns, the colours, the sheer awesome beauty that grabbed my heart and has not let go. I am just so looking forward. Into the unknown. And smiling….